Barcelona lack many things right now: a top level coach, a Champions League wage budget, Lionel Messi, of course. But a nose for narrative? That has never been in question.
Luis Suarez's apologetic celebrations at the Wanda Metropolitano on Saturday, as Ronald Koeman checked the charge on his mobile phone, represented merely the latest desperate development for those of a Blaugrana persuasion – all too predictable, all too preventable.
For so long Suarez, who made one and scored one for Atletico Madrid in this 2-0 victory, had been in the Barca ranks, an unwitting spectator for a stretch of their spectacular collapse from European football's shining example to its great crisis club.
Barca at least had rather less say in the departure that kickstarted this decline than in Suarez's.
The beginning of the end, it seemed, came on the night of one of their greatest wins, a stunning 6-1 success against Paris Saint-Germain orchestrated by Neymar. In overturning a hefty first-leg deficit but allowing the Brazil superstar to step out from Messi's shadow, Barca's joy emboldened his desire to be the main man in his own team – the other team, to be precise.
Of course, Neymar left, and Barca, rather than rallying from behind, twice in the next two seasons built big European leads of their own – at home to Roma and Liverpool – only to remarkably let both bring about return-leg remontadas.
The Blaugrana, seemingly without a thought for their finances, responded to the Liverpool reverse with their third nine-figure signing in three years, as Antoine Griezmann followed Philippe Coutinho and Ousmane Dembele to Camp Nou and followed both in underwhelming.
By the time their next Champions League campaign concluded in typically farcical fashion, all three were on the bench – Griezmann and Dembele for Barca, Coutinho for opponents Bayern Munich. On came Coutinho, still on loan from Barca, to score twice in 15 minutes against his parent club. Since returning to Catalonia, he has scored three times in 1,041 minutes, missing their best chance on Saturday.
Bayern's 8-2 win prompted Quique Setien's sacking and Koeman's appointment, which surprisingly then spelled the end for Suarez. "The coach did not count on me," the striker said as he joined Atletico. "I expected it, it had already been said before he told me."
From an eight-goal humiliation, a club of Barca's size should only be able to head in one direction, back on the ascent. But Suarez's departure deepened the damage. An unsettled Messi allowed his contract to run down and, in a manner that only Barca could manage, had to leave even once he changed his mind.
Four years of bad decisions led Barca to this point and Suarez, starting in the Atleti attack, was never likely to be one for sympathy. With neither a coherent plan nor an individual of era-defining talent to fall back on, Koeman's side were ill-equipped to deal with a man he had deemed surplus to requirements.
Twice Atleti pulled the Barca back line apart, Koeman phoning in from the stands due to a touchline ban but mirroring the gesticulations of Gerard Pique, Sergio Busquets and Memphis Depay as the visitors failed to get close to Suarez.
A drop of the shoulder from Joao Felix for the first brought him inside from the left to find his strike partner, whose first-time pass around the corner set Thomas Lemar clear to finish high into the net.
The same trio combined for number two, Lemar playing a patient one-two with Joao Felix down the same left flank and then lofting an inch-perfect pass over last defender Pique for Suarez to control, compose himself and steer past Marc-Andre ter Stegen.
"The opponent in front of us is special, but my work must be dedicated 100 per cent to Atletico," Suarez told Movistar afterwards – the Atleti goal never truly troubled as they earned a third straight LaLiga clean sheet against Barca for the first time ever.
By full-time, Suarez had been able to remove the wide grin from his face long enough to console his former team-mates, having moments earlier been hopping with glee on the Atleti bench.
He was replaced with 18 minutes remaining but surely would have added to his tally had he stayed on the pitch. Instead, Atleti's final big opportunity fell to Griezmann, back on the bench in a big Barcelona game, this time playing the Coutinho role for the opposition. Rather than ruthlessly finish like either of the ex-Liverpool men when faced with the chance to punish the club he used to call home, Griezmann went for a pass, which he comically misplaced. With a future obligation in his loan switch meaning he will not return to Camp Nou like Coutinho, the France international need not have been so generous.
Despite sharing more than seven years between these two teams, Griezmann has somehow never scored in this fixture – featuring in every edition in that time – and never won LaLiga. Atleti had gone 20 without a win against Barca before last season's meeting, in which Griezmann started for the Catalans.
An underwhelming start to his second Atleti career saw him dropped for this game, setting the stage for Joao Felix to excel, contesting 10 duels, winning four fouls and playing a key role in both goals. Griezmann is an expensive substitute; Barca's €97million salary cap could not even fit him in the first team.
Nor, it seems, can they afford to sack Koeman, out of his depth but determined to stick around. His future, Joan Laporta said, was safe regardless of this result.
Surely only that financial factor will prevent Suarez from seeing off the coach that ended his Barca stay. Scoring against the 31st of 31 LaLiga opponents, the forward gave it a good go, at least.
Dewsbury-Hall: Maresca will surprise people at Chelsea
Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall believes new Chelsea manager Enzo Maresca will "surprise a lot of people" when they watch the Blues this season.
The Italian led Leicester City straight back to the Premier League as Championship winners in his only season in charge and succeeds Mauricio Pochettino at Stamford Bridge.
The Foxes topped the second division table with 98 points, with Dewsbury-Hall a key figure in his squad as he netted 12 goals and provided 14 assists last season – his best tally in a single campaign.
Dewsbury-Hall was also named Leicester's Player and Players' Player of the Year.
The midfielder made the switch to West London earlier this month for £30million and is confident that Maresca will have Chelsea challenging for trophies in no time.
"The manager was a big catalyst in wanting me to come," Dewsbury-Hall told BBC Sport.
"I knew from Leicester, a club that went down and had a lot of problems, how he managed to galvanise that if everyone manages to buy into the system.
"I genuinely think in a short space of time we can be pushing for minimum top four - but more than that.
"He may be unknown for a lot of people, but he is top, top level. He will surprise a lot of people."
Chelsea's pre-season got off to a frustrating start as they were held to a 2-2 draw by League One side Wrexham in Maresca's first game in charge on Wednesday.
Dewsbury-Hall did not play in that match but is training with the squad in the United States and could feature in their next outing against Celtic on Saturday.
The 25-year-old is confident the manager's tactics will come across soon, with the players buying into his style.
"We've only been doing it for two or three weeks, but the combination plays are really quick and tidy," he added.
"That's after two weeks. I remember he said to us at Leicester after six months or a year, there might be teething problems at the start, but it will improve.
"Within the first week at Leicester, I was convinced this was top, top level. I felt a bit stupid; I thought I knew a lot about football, but he was teaching me things on a daily basis that I didn't really know before. He has an aura, he can be strict, or gentle and soft - he has both sides.
"I am getting the same feedback here with the lads. They've bought into it here from minute one which is exciting. With a system and philosophy, you need everyone to buy in because, if they do, you can really achieve something."
Ederson slams reports of rift with Man City backup Ortega
Ederson has hit out at reports of a rift between himself and fellow Manchester City goalkeeper Stefan Ortega.
The Brazilian was substituted after suffering a fractured eye socket in City's penultimate game of the Premier League season, a vital 1-0 win over Tottenham.
Ortega replaced him and made a brilliant save to deny Son Heung-min as City maintained their slender lead over Arsenal at the top of the table, sealing an unprecedented fourth straight title by beating West Ham five days later.
Ortega was widely lauded for his role in that triumph, and an article published by The Athletic this week suggested Ederson took issue with that praise.
However, the goalkeeper – who missed the Copa America as a result of his injury – has now moved to shut down those suggestions with a post to his Instagram story.
"I would like to clarify that the note published by The Athletic yesterday, referring to my alleged dissatisfaction with a co-worker, is completely false," he wrote.
"The alleged day reported was, without a doubt, one of the most difficult days of my career, when I suffered a fracture that prevented me from playing in the final stretch of the season and, consequently, from representing my country in the Copa America.
"At the time of the injury, my only thought was to continue in the match, defending City in the fight for the title.
"But the emotion of the match would be greater than the reality and, inevitably, I would not be able to continue as I would have liked due to the damage it caused, completely blocking my field of vision. I remain focused on preparing for the season."
Ederson has been linked with a transfer in recent days, reportedly attracting interest from Saudi Pro League clubs.
Slot's Liverpool success will be measured by trophies, says McAllister
Gary McAllister says Arne Slot must be prepared to aim high by targeting trophies if he is to be successful with Liverpool.
The Dutchman is set to begin his first season in charge of the Reds after being appointed as Jurgen Klopp's successor in May.
Liverpool enjoyed a trophy-laden spell under the German, winning their first-ever Premier League title, as well as a Champions League, a Club World Cup, a Super Cup, an FA Cup and two EFL Cups.
However, Slot was no stranger to success while at Feyenoord, leading the team to the Eredivisie title in 2022-23 before lifting the KNVB Cup in April during his final season with the club.
McAllister, who won five trophies in the two years he spent at Liverpool, says Slot's success will be determined by the silverware he collects.
"Liverpool is a club that's synonymous with winning, and when you don't win you fail," McAllister told Stats Perform.
"When there's a new management team, you're given a little bit more time, but the facts are Liverpool's target, I felt, and as a player that played against them for most of his career, the targets that Liverpool set, you go into every tournament looking to win it.
"You try to win every game and that's the expectation of the club and that's what makes it a very special club."
Klopp spent nine years at Liverpool, breaking club records as his team pushed for trophies on a regular basis.
The Reds enjoyed a club-record 68-match unbeaten run at Anfield over nearly four years in the Premier League between April 2017 and January 2021.
Klopp also oversaw three of the four most prolific seasons in Liverpool's history, including the club-record total of 147 goals scored in 2021-22.
Slot has admitted he has "big shoes to fill", but McAllister believes the 45-year-old will be able to live up to the high expectations left behind by Klopp.
"Arne arriving at the club, following Klopp, realising that it's such a difficult job anyway, but to follow somebody who's done particularly well at the club over an eight, nine-year period is going to be tough, and I don't think the new manager is under any illusions," he added.
"What I would say is he's a man that seems to be a very strong character, good personality, and he's just got to come in and be his own man and trust what he does.
"He's done very well in his previous managerial career and coming to Liverpool I feel is a natural progression in the levels of the game that he's worked at.
"So, everybody at the club will be deeply backing him and be right behind him, he'll have amazing support."
Liverpool's first pre-season game under Slot ended in a 1-0 defeat to Preston North End last week before the players flew out to the United States for a three-game tour.
They are also only one of two Premier League clubs yet to conduct any business in the transfer window so far, but McAllister urged fans to be patient with Slot while he gets settled in his new role.
"Whenever there's a change at a club, I think the fans have got to realise that it does take time for a new manager, a new coaching group to come in and get their ideas over to the players," he said.
"There's got to be a modicum of patience, but at Liverpool, expectation levels are very, very high and sometimes, in professional soccer, in elite soccer, patience is something that most managers don't get.
"As much as the fans have got to be aware that everything is new and there are new ideas, Arne and the players will want to get off to a quick start.
"I feel that this pre-season tour is going to help them start the season against Ipswich Town very strongly. I feel the games that they've got here in the US, here in Pittsburgh against Betis, and then we go to play Arsenal and Manchester United, the build-up is pretty good."
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