As concerns over social distancing and flight restrictions continue to surround Euro 2020, John Stones gave everyone the opportunity to construct their own joke when he soared high above the Scotland defence with no one particularly near him in the 11th minute at Wembley on Friday.
The England centre-back's jump was slightly mis-timed, though, and his header from a right-wing corner crashed against the post.
Worryingly for Gareth Southgate – well, as worried as it's sensible to be with four points on the board from two games in a group stage format lacking too much jeopardy – that was the closest the hosts came to breaking the deadlock in a 0-0 draw that crackled away without ever truly catching fire.
When England reached their first major tournament semi-final for 28 years at the 2018 World Cup, it felt churlish to complain that they often lacked threat from open play. Goals from well-constructed set-pieces count the same and there was an exciting generation of attacking talent on the way.
And yet, as Phil Foden and Mason Mount schemed against a disciplined Scotland with typical intelligence and craft, as Wembley clamour for Jack Grealish was sated midway through the second half and as Jadon Sancho inexplicably remained an unused substitute, here we were.
Rabid debate is now sure to follow over how England's support attackers should be configured, but concern might be better directed towards one of Southgate's untouchables.
When Harry Kane trudged off to be replaced by Marcus Rashford in the 74th minute, it was surprising only because of his deserved status as one of the finest centre-forwards in world football, not at all because of his performance.
In the first half, no player had fewer than Kane's 10 touches. That tally edged up to 19 by the time he departed and everything in between had been horribly laboured – even when Scotland bodies briefly appeared to part and his tired left-footed shot was blocked before the hour.
The opening two Group D games are the first time since last November that Kane has not managed a shot on target in a consecutive matches. Those games were against Chelsea and Manchester City.
If Kane is tired, it would be understandable. Among players classed as forwards by Opta in the Premier League, only Aston Villa's Ollie Watkins (3,329) and his Tottenham colleague Son Heung-min (3,121) played more than his 3,085 top-flight minutes in 2020-21.
The fact is that Scotland's unheralded front two Lyndon Dykes and Che Adams comfortably outplayed Kane and both came closer to scoring – QPR's Dykes in particular when he forced Reece James into a goalline clearance.
Kane's reputation as a creator has blossomed in recent years – he topped the Premier League standings for goals and assists last term – and he laid on a 55th-minute chance from which James should have done far better.
Still, his overall contribution, on and off the ball, was negligible, as England plodded about the turf ponderously deep, unable to muster more than Mount's solitary shot on target early in the second period.
The Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips midfield axis worked to fine effect in nullifying and overpowering Luka Modric and Croatia's arch schemers at the weekend. In the knockout stages, they could be vital in tandem once more, but as this match ticked by it felt like an excess of insurance.
As was the case during some of the less triumphant moments in Russia, Southgate stuck with his shape when dropping Mount deeper and deploying Grealish in tandem with Foden instead of sacrificing the Manchester City youngster looked like the best way to open up the contest.
Southgate's decision to stick rather than twist in-game is not a new problem, nor was the lack of creativity to which it contributed. However, they were issues that did not prevent England from going deep in the last World Cup or defeating its beaten finalists.
They are not new problems and are surmountable if all else is working well. On the other hand, an off-colour, non-threatening Kane is a new and growing problem and certainly not one England can continue to absorb if they want to bring football "home" or even to a vaguely agreeable postcode.
Hurtig the hero after late goal sends Arsenal into Champions League quarters
Lina Hurtig's 89th minute winner ensured Arsenal progressed to the quarter-finals of the Women's Champions League after edging Juventus 1-0 on Thursday.
After being frustrated for large parts of the encounter, Hurtig bundled home from close range after Martina Lenzini's poor clearance to book the Gunners' place in the last eight.
Despite Arsenal dominating the early exchanges, it was Juventus who had the first sight of goal, though Eva Schatzer's effort was easy for Daphne van Domselaar to gather.
In a first half that saw just two shots on target, both coming from the visitors, Renee Slegers' substitutes proved to be the difference for Arsenal.
Slegers introduced Beth Mead, Stina Blackstenius and Hurtig late on, with the latter somehow putting Kim Little's cross over the bar from five yards out.
However, the Swede would atone for her earlier error, combining with fellow substitute Blackstenius to net against her former club and send them out of the competition with two group games remaining.
Meanwhile, in Group D, Barcelona edged closer to the quarter-finals of the competition with a convincing 4-1 victory over St. Polten at the Generali Arena.
The reigning champions are still three points behind Manchester City following their 2-1 win over Hammarby, and know a win against the Swedes next month will see them progress.
Kika Nazareth opened the scoring in the 20th minute after capitalising on a mistake by Kamila Dubcova, notching her second nine minutes later from close range.
Barca found themselves three goals up at the break when Vicky Lopez netted her first goal in the competition to put the result beyond doubt.
There was also a landmark moment for Alexia Putellas, who netted her 200th goal for the club with a well-taken effort into the far corner.
Valentina Madl took some of the shine off an otherwise impressive display from the visitors, who have now taken their tally to 20 goals from their four matches in the competition.
Guardiola agrees two-year contract extension with Man City
Pep Guardiola will be Manchester City manager for at least two more seasons after 2024-25, after he signed a two-year contract extension on Thursday.
The 53-year-old was coming to the end of his City deal, which was due to expire at the end of the current campaign, but he has opted to remain at the Etihad Stadium.
The deal itself will take Guardiola's tenure at the club to over a decade, making him City's longest-serving manager since Les McDowall in 1963.
There had been suggestions that he may leave at the end of the season following the announcement that director of football Txiki Begiristain was on his way out.
Guardiola was strongly linked with the England job after Gareth Southgate resigned in the wake of their Euro 2024 final defeat, but the Football Association appointed Thomas Tuchel last month.
“Manchester City means so much to me," Guardiola said. “This is my ninth season here; we have experienced so many amazing times together. I have a really special feeling for this football club.
“That is why I am so happy to be staying for another two more seasons.
“Thank you to everyone for continuing to trust and support me – The Owner, The Chairman Khaldoon, Ferran, Txiki, the players and, of course, the fans… everyone connected to Manchester City. It has always been an honour, a pleasure and a privilege to be here.
“I have said this many times before, but I have everything a manager could ever wish for, and I appreciate that so much.
“Hopefully, now we can add more trophies to the ones we have already won. That will be my focus.”
Having been appointed in 2016, Guardiola is by some distance Manchester City's most successful manager of all time, having won 18 major trophies during his time at the club.
That list includes their first-ever Champions League triumph in 2023 and six Premier League titles, including an unprecedented four on the spin.
He also boasts a 72.04% win percentage across all competitions, which is unsurprisingly the highest of any full-time City manager in history.
Shaw at the double as Man City progress in Champions League
Khadija Shaw scored twice as Manchester City beat Hammarby 2-1 to seal their place in the Women's Champions League quarter-finals.
Gareth Taylor's team entered Thursday's game with a perfect record in Group D, and their fourth win in as many European matches ensured they finished in the top two.
Shaw—the leading scorer in the Women's Super League this season with eight goals—put them ahead in the 31st minute, driving into the area after taking in Yui Hasegawa's pass before seeing her shot deflect into the top corner.
Shaw was booked for celebrating in front of the home fans despite appearing to have objects thrown at her from the stands, and Hammarby should have levelled when Julia Blakstad fired wide 10 minutes later.
The hosts did draw level three minutes into the second half as Ellen Wangerheim tapped home while City's Laura Blindkilde Brown was down appealing for a free-kick.
That parity was short-lived, though, as Shaw blasted into the top corner from 25 yards out, taking her overall tally for this season to 12 goals in all competitions.
In Group C, meanwhile, Bayern Munich lost their perfect record as they played out a 1-1 draw with Valerenga, boosting Arsenal's hopes of topping the pile.
Jovana Damnjanovic came off the bench to put Bayern ahead 15 minutes from time in Norway, but Elise Thorsnes headed home following an 88th-minute corner to snatch a point for the hosts.
Arsenal could now move within a point of Bayern when they face Juventus in Group C's other match later on Thursday.
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