Safe to say Frank Lampard was the only Champions League coach required to give an earnest answer on the eve of this week's matches about the role a late-night US TV host might have had in his appointment.
But then Lampard was also the only Champions League coach expecting to watch along from home with James Corden and the rest as recently as a week ago.
If Thomas Tuchel's appointment at Bayern Munich between the last 16 and the quarter-finals came out of left field, he at least had history in this competition, replacing Lampard as Chelsea boss in 2020-21 and leading them to European glory.
Lampard won the Champions League as a player, of course, in another example of a successful mid-season Chelsea coaching change.
The parallels with that other season of struggle in 2011-12 have not been lost on Lampard. "He mentioned he was in his worst moment at Chelsea," said Enzo Fernandez. "It is a great example for us."
But that likely makes Lampard the only coach to look at Roberto Di Matteo's improbable title run 11 years ago as a blueprint for success moving forward.
In fact, Di Matteo led Chelsea to a top-six Premier League finish and an FA Cup triumph before winning the Champions League. Lampard's side are 11th and out of the domestic cups.
Hopes of a repeat of that greatest win of all are all but gone, too, after Real Madrid's 2-0 victory in the first leg of their last-eight tie.
Lampard's will surely be the only shock Chelsea comeback this season.
The Blues, still under Tuchel, did very nearly overturn a two-goal deficit against Madrid at this stage last season, leading 3-0 at the Santiago Bernabeu before late goals from Rodrygo and Karim Benzema took the eventual champions through.
That was the theme of Madrid's campaign, rarely playing well but having enough in the big moments. The concern for Chelsea is their hosts were again a little below par on Wednesday and this time did not need any of those big moments, deservedly defeating their toothless side.
Madrid scraped past Liverpool and Chelsea last season and are on course to knock out both again this year – with the minimum of fuss. Again getting the better of Manchester City in the next stage may well prove tougher.
Lampard appeared to look back to those famous nights under Di Matteo as he turned to experience for this first leg, making only two changes from the last-16 second leg against Borussia Dortmund but increasing the average age of the XI by two years in introducing Thiago Silva and N'Golo Kante.
"We always want to develop players, we want young players, all these things," he explained to BT Sport. "But at a game of this high level, players like Thiago, N'Golo in the team are a huge lift for us."
That know-how still paled next to Madrid's, however. There were 821 Champions League appearances in the home XI – the second-most in competition history behind another Madrid line-up in the 2018 final.
It was fitting then that Benzema should net the opener in his 149th Champions League game, fifth on the all-time list and in the right place at the right time when Kepa Arrizabalaga could only parry an awkward effort from Vinicius Junior.
Lampard might well have taken a 1-0 defeat at that point. He certainly would have when half-time was reached with Madrid having aimed eight shots on target and then again when Ben Chilwell was sent off with over half an hour remaining.
The game briefly became reminiscent of the 2012 semi-final in Barcelona, where John Terry saw red but Chelsea somehow recovered a 2-2 draw through a combination of brave defending and clinical counter-attacking.
Yet Marco Asensio's second with 74 minutes played, steered through Wesley Fofana's legs, broke their resolve and might well have taken the tie away from Lampard.
This Chelsea team are anything but clinical. They have 41 goals in 41 games this season, going four without scoring – including in two matches under Lampard – for the first time since 1993. The Blues have only netted more than once, as they now must, in 14 of those games.
Failure to buck that trend against Champions League specialists Madrid will mean the end of Chelsea's season.
At that point, as Madrid move on and Lampard attempts to rescue a top-10 position in the Premier League, focus turns to where Todd Boehly goes next, perhaps to who Jimmy Kimmel fancies for the Stamford Bridge hotseat.
It has been another season to remember at Chelsea – for all the wrong reasons.
5 occasions team-mates have clashed following Nicolas Jackson-Noni Madueke spat
Chelsea pair Nicolas Jackson and Noni Madueke are not the first team-mates to clash on a football pitch.
Cole Palmer’s four-goal haul in the Blues’ 6-0 win over Everton on Monday was overshadowed by what boss Mauricio Pochettino called an “unacceptable” altercation over who should take a second-half penalty.
Palmer, the club’s designated penalty-taker, finally took charge, following intervention from captain Conor Gallagher, recovering his composure to score his fourth.
Jackson and Madueke follow a long line of club colleagues to have had a very public difference of opinion. Here, the PA news agency takes a look at some previous incidents.
Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer
Perhaps the classic of the genre, the Newcastle team-mates came to blows towards the end of a 3-0 home defeat by Aston Villa in April 2005, Dyer grabbing Bowyer by the throat and the pair trading punches before being separated by Villa’s Gareth Barry. Both men were dismissed by referee Barry Knight – defender Steven Taylor had earlier been sent off for handball – and later hauled before the media by manager Graeme Souness to apologise for their conduct.
Graeme Le Saux and David Batty
Blackburn’s Le Saux was left with a painful reminder of his bust-up with David Batty during a 3-0 Champions League defeat at Spartak Moscow in November 1995. Four minutes into the game, the pair collided as both tried to retrieve a Mike Newell pass and Batty made his displeasure abundantly clear. The row descended into a pushing match before Le Saux – he later insisted in self-defence – struck out, breaking his left hand during a scuffle in which intervening skipper Tim Sherwood took a blow to the cheek.
Hugo Lloris and Son Heung-min
Tottenham keeper Lloris and striker Son became involved in a heated row on the pitch as the half-time whistle sounded in a 1-0 Premier League victory over Everton in July 2020. Lloris angrily confronted the South Korea international over his failure to track back and the pair had to be separated by team-mates Giovani Lo Celso and Harry Winks. The spat continued down the tunnel and into the dressing room, although the two men embraced after the final whistle.
Derek Hales and Mike Flanagan
Charlton strike partners Hales and Flanagan came to blows during an FA Cup tie against Maidstone in January 1979. The source of the spat was allegedly Flanagan reacting to Hales failing to pass to him by making a disparaging remark about his team-mate’s genitals. Both were sent off.
Craig Levein and Graeme Hogg
The Hearts duo became involved in a disagreement during a pre-season friendly at Raith in August 1994 after their side had almost conceded. Both men threw punches, but it was Levein’s which did the damage, breaking Hogg’s nose. He was sent off as he was being carried off on a stretcher with Levein suffering the same fate, and they were later handed 10 and 12-match bans respectively.
I’m buzzing – hat-trick hero Cole Palmer thanks Chelsea for opportunity to join
Cole Palmer is grateful for the opportunity Chelsea gave him to join the club after he celebrated successive home hat-tricks when he scored four times in the Blues’ 6-0 win over Everton.
The Manchester City academy graduate, who joined the Blues last summer, scored a spectacular individual goal to open the scoring.
Palmer scored a header and added a third when he capitalised on a Jordan Pickford error before converting a penalty in the second half. Nicolas Jackson and Alfie Gilchrist also got on the scoresheet as the Toffees came completely unstuck.
It was Palmer’s second home triple in a row, following his three goals against Manchester United earlier this month.
Palmer told Chelsea’s official website: “To make the decision to come to Chelsea was a big one for me and my family, but I just wanted to play football. I’m thankful to Chelsea for the opportunity and I’m buzzing.
“We started well and to score a hat-trick, I’m buzzing. I think the team needed that after last Sunday and some previous games. We did well tonight. It was a great game for the team and me.”
Palmer showed wonderful skill for his first goal after he jinked past Jarrad Branthwaite, receiving a flick-on from Jackson before he produced a first-time curled effort from outside the box into the bottom left-hand corner.
The 21-year-old added: “I think my first one was my favourite.
“My right-footed goal was a bit of a swinger, but my first one was probably my favourite. As an attacker, you always want to help the team with goals and assists, but my main focus was playing well and trying to get into the positions to score goals.”
Manager Mauricio Pochettino heaped praise on Palmer, who is now joint top in the Premier League’s Golden Boot race with Erling Haaland on 20 goals each.
He said: “I don’t judge the player when we sign (them) but I expected the best. It doesn’t surprise us, he’s a player who has had the capacity to score goals when he was playing at Manchester City. He has the capacity to score easily.
“The way he’s adapted, playing and performing is fantastic. He behaves like a top scorer and I think it’s amazing for the team and him.”
Football rumours: Chelsea seeking new Enzo Fernandez and Mykhailo Mudryk deals
What the papers say
The Sun reports that Chelsea are seeking contract extensions for midfielder Enzo Fernandez and winger Mykhailo Mudryk. The two 23-year-olds’ previous long-term deals would be extended by another year.
The Daily Mail reports that Liverpool are considering Sunderland goalkeeper Anthony Patterson as a potential replacement for Caoimhin Kelleher.
According to the Telegraph, ex-Chelsea and Everton boss Frank Lampard has dropped out of the running to become the new head coach of Canada’s national team.
Social media round-upPlayers to watch
Tosin Adarabioyo: Tottenham have made an offer to the Fulham defender, says Teamtalk, as they try to beat Manchester United in the race to sign the 26-year-old.
Viktor Gyokeres: Manchester United are keen on the Sweden striker from Sporting Lisbon but fear Liverpool may scupper their signing chances, reports HITC.
Djed Spence: Tottenham’s 23-year-old right-back is one of several senior players expected to leave the club this summer, claims Football Insider.
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