The suggestion Manchester United are enduring a trophy drought might feel frankly offensive to followers of Newcastle United, their EFL Cup final opponents.
When Newcastle last won a domestic cup, the 1955 FA Cup, they had twice as many major honours to their name (10) as Man United (five).
Since then, though, the side from Old Trafford have won 17 league titles, 15 domestic cups and five major European competitions.
In the same period, Newcastle have celebrated success only in the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup – a competition not recognised by UEFA.
Newcastle can end their 68-year wait for a domestic triumph on Sunday but must beat these most familiar of foes, for Man United have done more than most to extend that barren run on Tyneside.
Before this season, the Magpies' last semi-final was a 4-1 FA Cup defeat to Man United in 2005. Their last final was a 2-0 FA Cup defeat to the same opposition in 1999.
Those are counted among seven cup meetings between the sides since 1955, of which Man United have won six, including a 4-0 victory in the 1996 Community Shield.
That, like the 1999 FA Cup final, contributes to Newcastle's eight-game losing streak at Wembley – a record – having won on each of their first five trips to the national stadium.
Even in the league, Newcastle's best two campaigns since 1955 have seen them finish as runners-up to Man United. They have not finished above Man United since 1976-77.
This looked like being a season in which that sequence at least could be ended, but Newcastle have slipped below Man United and out of the top four since their semi-final win over Southampton.
In fact, only Aston Villa and Leeds United have collected fewer points than Newcastle in that time, while no Premier League team have earned as many as Man United.
Eddie Howe's men have understandably been distracted by their looming Wembley date, for which there could hardly be more fitting opponents.
"We're pleased the final's here. I didn't want the wait to be any longer," Howe said after Saturday's defeat to Liverpool, adding: "I wouldn't criticise the players in terms of focusing on the final ahead of the Premier League, but the talk of it has been there."
Yet even before this final, Man United have managed to hurt Newcastle again.
Nick Pope's red card in the Liverpool game saw him ruled out of Sunday's match, and Martin Dubravka cannot play either after spending the first half of the season out on loan at Man United of all teams.
Having played twice in the EFL Cup at Old Trafford, Dubravka is cup-tied and will receive a winners' medal only if his Newcastle team-mates lose. They will be relying instead on Loris Karius, making his debut for the club.
Even had Dubravka been available, Pope would be a big miss. He is so key to the way Newcastle play – with a high line but a slow defence – ironically due to his ability to do the thing that saw him sent off.
Pope leads the Premier League in keeper sweepings (24), mopping up passes in behind the back line effectively when not comically handling the ball outside his area.
No goalkeeper in the country then might have been better suited to combatting Man United's approach, which relies heavily on the speed of Marcus Rashford. They rank joint-first for fast breaks (22), joint-second for shots from fast breaks (16) and first for goals from fast breaks (seven), with Rashford scoring two of those.
Karius, now tasked with stopping Rashford, last appeared for an English club in another final, making two awful errors for Liverpool in their 2018 Champions League final defeat to Real Madrid after sustaining a concussion.
His potential redemption tale in this showpiece adds another layer of narrative that was scarcely needed.
"It would be a magnificent chance for him to rewrite the story of his career," said Howe, while Dubravka added: "It's like the script from a movie. So incredible."
It is not a plot twist anyone involved with Newcastle would have chosen – except perhaps for those following the club this season for a documentary series. "Now we want a happy ending," said Dubravka.
Bruno Guimaraes is at least back from suspension to help with that, although so too is Brazil team-mate Casemiro in the Man United camp.
The former Real Madrid midfielder, like Rashford, provides a very physical threat, but of comparable concern to Newcastle and to Karius might be the considerable mental hurdles they must clear to finally bring silverware back to St James' Park.
St. Jago, Eltham, STATHS and Wolmer’s through to Walker Cup final four
St. Jago High, Eltham High, STATHS and Wolmer’s Boys all advanced to the semi-finals of the Walker Cup knockout tournament after quarter-final wins on Thursday.
St. Jago booked their spot in the last four after a 3-2 win over Calabar High at the Anthony Spaulding Sports Complex.
St. Jago took an early lead before Calabar equalized in the 45th minute through Kevaun Campbell. St. Jago retook the lead five minutes into the second half through Richardo Lewis before Seon Cato made it 3-1 in the 74th minute.
Calabar got a consolation goal through Sheldon Pusey eight minutes from full time but it wasn’t enough.
In the second game of the double header at the Anthony Spaulding Sports Complex, Wolmer’s Boys got the better of St. George’s College 2-1.
Elsewhere, STATHS got a comfortable 3-0 win over Charlie Smith at Calabar to advance while Eltham beat Jonathan Grant 3-1 at the Spanish Town Prison Oval to make it through.
Venezuela 1-1 Brazil: Super sub Segovia holds Selecao to shock draw
Substitute Telasco Segovia delivered the pivotal goal that saw 10-man Venezuela hold Brazil to a 1-1 draw in CONMEBOL World Cup qualifying.
The shock result leaves Brazil in third place, trailing second-placed Colombia by two points and far short of Argentina in first.
Brazil opened the scoring just before half-time as Raphinha curled a delightful free-kick over the Venezuela wall from 20 yards out to break the deadlock.
On the other side of the break, however, half-time substitute Segovia equalised just 41 seconds after the restart, striking from outside the box, having run onto Jefferson Savarino’s short lay-off.
The visitors were provided with a prime opportunity to restore their lead when Rafael Romo fouled Vinicius Junior in the box. But the Real Madrid forward was unable to capitalise on the resulting penalty, seeing his initial effort saved before firing the rebound wide.
As tensions rose, the game delivered further drama as Alexander Gonzalez received his marching orders in the 89th minute for lashing out at Vinicius after fouling Gabriel Martinelli.
In a farcical ending to the lively affair, sprinklers popped up in the pitch in added time to delay proceedings, but neither side could find a way through.
Data Debrief: Instant impact for super sub Segovia
Segovia's goal, 41 seconds after coming on, is the fastest for a player coming off the bench in the last three editions of the South American World Cup Qualifiers.
Venezuela have now scored two goals in the first 15 minutes of the second half, only Brazil (four) and Colombia (four) have scored more in the 2026 CONMEBOL World Cup Qualifiers.
Kelleher repays Ireland trust in Finland victory
Republic of Ireland winger Mikey Johnston said the team had always trusted Caoimhin Kelleher after he made a crucial penalty save in their 1-0 Nations League win over Finland.
Johnston's corner set up Brighton and Hove Albion striker Evan Ferguson for the decisive goal on the stroke of half-time, after Finland had twice been denied by the woodwork.
The visitors had a golden chance to level in the second half, but Liverpool goalkeeper Kelleher made a stunning save to deny Joel Pohjanpalo from 12 yards following a handball from Ferguson.
The result means Finland are relegated from Group B2, while Ireland must come through a play-off to remain in the competition's second tier.
Speaking after the game, Johnston credited Kelleher's all-important penalty save, saying: "I always trust him to go and save a penalty. He has reacted really well and stepped up in a big moment.
"We were aiming for the win. They had moments but there were a few chances we could have taken as well.
"We're happy that we've come away with the win. Sometimes in the last year we would have been on the other side of a bit of bad luck."
Ireland round off their campaign against England on Sunday, in Lee Carsley's final game in charge of the Three Lions before Thomas Tuchel takes the reins in January.
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