Shaun Udal tries to remain upbeat but the former England off-spinner admitted to facing “some really dark days” as he adjusts to living with Parkinson’s disease.
A month before turning 50, in February 2019, Udal was informed by post he had been diagnosed with the degenerative and incurable condition which leaves him with pain in his muscles, more acutely at night.
While the charitable arm of the Professional Cricketers’ Association has been a comforting and ever-present help, Udal’s resolve has also been stretched by the loss of his mother during Covid, followed by the sudden deaths of his brother and then his close friend and ex-Hampshire team-mate Shane Warne.
“There were some really dark days, some horrible thoughts went through my head, that obviously glad that I never did, but I’m not ashamed to say that – it was bloody tough,” the 54-year-old said.
“Within the space of a year I had my diagnosis, my mother passed away during Covid, my brother very unexpectedly passed away as well and my great friend Shane Warne passed away as well.
“Shane was totally unexpected, just as I was getting over my mum and brother, then that happens and that knocked me back again.”
Udal – whose playing career started in 1989, ended in 2010 and included four Test and 11 ODI caps for England – gave a small insight into how the condition was impacting his day-to-day life.
“The pain just grips your body, the muscles go very tense and very painful and your thought processes go very down in the dumps and it affects your mood,” he said.
“You go to bed and you can’t go to sleep because of the pain from the muscles is just too great. You take painkillers and sleeping tablets, the pain is still there and you wake up after an hour’s sleep.
“It’s changed my life, it’s changed my wife’s life and my family’s life but I’ll keep going for as long as I can and I’ll keep going and try to fight it.”
The ongoing care of the Professional Cricketers’ Trust has been described as “astonishing” by Udal, who has not only received help for his condition but also counselling to help him come to terms with the bereavements of loved ones.
This weekend’s Vitality Blast Finals Day is in aid of the Trust, a worthy cause according to Udal, who played in the first ever professional T20 in 2003 and was a winner of the competition with Middlesex in 2008.
“The period of diagnoses was something that I could handle and manage but what happened to my mum, my brother and my great mate Warney (the Australia great who died in March last year, aged 52) I had no control over and didn’t see any of it coming,” he added.
“It’s been incredibly difficult, all three off them passing so quickly but I can’t emphasise enough how important the support network has been around me.
“When you’ve got other horrible thoughts going through your head and thinking who would come to my funeral, would they come to my funeral? I’m not too ashamed to admit that those thoughts happened.
“If I didn’t have the support from the Trust at the start, it’s a big thing to say, but I don’t think I’d be here. I think those dark thoughts would have manifested themselves and it would have been too late to turn anything round.
“Having gone through what I went through, I dread to think what could have happened.
“It’s so important to have these people around and the Trust especially I knew were there for me and I knew where to turn. The more awareness the Trust can get the better.”
:: Vitality Blast Finals Day 2023 is supporting the Professional Cricketers’ Trust. The players’ charity provides life-changing and often life-saving support to past and present players. Text TRUSTTEN or TRUSTTWENTY to 70085 to donate £10 or £20 or visit justgiving.com/campaign/blast2023 to find out more and make a donation.
Inglis hails 'hard to stop' Stoinis after ruthless knock
Josh Inglis lauded "hard to stop" Marcus Stoinis as Australia signed off their T20I series against Pakistan in style, claiming a whitewash.
The hosts raced to a seven-wicket victory with almost nine overs remaining in Monday's third match.
After Australia's bowlers had limited Pakistan to just 117 runs, Stoinis ensured they signed off their final white-ball assignment in style, with his unbeaten 61 doing the damage.
Only twice has he bettered that knock in T20Is – versus New Zealand in 2021 (78) and against Oman at the World Cup earlier this year (67*).
"It's been a great week. We've had a lot of fun as a group," Inglis said. "It's been really nice.
"When Stoinis is going like that, he is really hard to stop. One of those sixes was probably the biggest I've ever seen!"
Stoinis, who was named player of the match, added: "Nice to score some runs on a beautiful wicket but credit to the bowlers who kept the total down.
"Yeah, I actually told [Haris] Rauf that this is the first time any of us got the better of him! No, he's a brilliant bowler, bowled well this series."
During their white-ball tour, Pakistan won the ODI series, their first time doing so in Australia in 22 years, but got whitewashed in the T20Is.
Despite the heavy loss, captain Agha Salman chose to focus on the positive effect the experience will have on their young players.
"I think in the middle overs, we didn't capitalise on the start," he said. "But lots of positives.
"The way Usman [Khan] batted, the way Jahandad [Khan] bowled. These youngsters will come good.
"It's obviously a big achievement winning the ODI series, but we could have done much better in the T20Is."
Salt century gives England winning start to West Indies T20 series
Phil Salt hit a superb century as England drew first blood in their T20 series against West Indies, with a commanding eight-wicket victory at the Kensington Oval.
Salt's unbeaten 103 off 54 balls was the highlight for the tourists, who successfully chased down their target of 183 with 19 balls to spare.
The West Indies endured a difficult start and were reduced to 18-3 and later 117-8, with Saqib Mahmood (4-34) and Adil Rashid (3-32) doing the damage.
However, the hosts managed 65 runs in the last 5.2 overs to finish at 182-8, with Gukadesh Motie knocking 33 off 14 balls along the way.
Salt kick-started England's chase with 50 off just 25 deliveries taking them to 73-1 after six overs, with Will Jacks (17) dismissed with the final ball of the powerplay.
Jos Buttler's first match after four months out lasted just three minutes, as the skipper was caught by Motie for a golden duck.
However, it proved a false dawn for West Indies, with Salt and Jacob Bethall (58 from 36 balls) safely steering England to victory.
Data Debrief: Salt completes hat-trick of hundreds as Bethell makes historic half-century
England put their disappointing ODI series behind them, making history with the highest T20 chase at the Kensington Oval.
Salt was the hero with his third T20I century, all of which have come against West Indies in the past 12 months.
Bethell also made history on Saturday. Aged 21 years and 17 days, he become the youngest England player to score a 50 in a T20I.
Asalanka leads Sri Lanka to ODI series win over West Indies
Sri Lanka wrapped up the ODI series against the West Indies with a five-wicket victory in Pallekele.
The hosts successfully chased down their opponents' total of 189, giving them an unassailable 2-0 in the three-match series.
Sri Lanka controlled the early powerplay - Asitha Fernando (3-35) and Maheesh Theekshana (3-25) took two wickets apiece to leave the tourists at 31-4 in the ninth over.
Wanindu Hasaranga (4-40) then claimed three of his four wickets as Roston Chase, Romario Shepherd, Hayden Walsh and Alzarri Joseph were all dismissed in the space of 14 balls.
However, Sherfane Rutherford (80 off 82 balls) and Gudakesh Motie (50 not out) steadied the ship to take the Windies from 58-8 to 189.
Although Joseph claimed Avishka Fernando (9) in the fourth over, Nishan Madushka and Sadeera Samarawickrama both chipped in with contributions of 38 to get the hosts to 112-4.
Skipper Charith Asalanka (62 not out) led the charge thereon, while Kamindu Mendis (11) comfortably got them over the line with 34 balls remaining.
Data Debrief: Rutherford-Motie historic stand proves academic for tourists
West Indies were looking to level the series, but their hopes were not aided by Sri Lanka's impressive bowling.
Rutherford and Motie did their best. Their partnership brought 119 runs, which is their nation's highest ninth-wicket stand in ODI history, breaking the previous record of 85 between Yannic Cariah and Alzarri Joseph.
However, it ultimately proved in vain as the hosts secured the series with a game to spare.
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