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I don't know how I've coped' – Rafiq reflects on Yorkshire racism scandal as he offers support for change

Rafiq suffered racial harassment and bullying while at Yorkshire, which was eventually brought to light and taken in front of a parliamentary select committee in November.

The former off-spinner also accused his former club and England of being institutionally racist, with several high-profile figures at the county either resigning or being dismissed over the handling of the allegations.

Kamlesh Patel is leading the change at Yorkshire after replacing former chairman Roger Hutton, while former England bowler Darren Gough has taken charge after the dismissal of director of cricket Martyn Moxon.

Ottis Gibson was appointed head coach on Wednesday as the replacement for the sacked Andrew Gale and Rafiq reiterated support for the club on the condition that he sees positive change.

He told Stats Perform: "I've said this a few times, from day one I've been clear with Lord Patel. If I see an acceptance and intention, and a will to move in a different direction and change.

"They're not going to get everything right, there's going to be missteps on the way. But as long as I see an intention to change, I will be the first one supporting it. 

"I've seen that from day one to be honest. There are a lot of positive things happening at the club and hopefully a lot more to come.

"If people apologise, then there should be a second chance and they should be allowed to change. It's really important that when we're asking individuals or institutions to change when they do try that we support them and not make it harder for them. 

"Look, the people that continue to deny that, that's up to them. But it's important that we just continue making sure that the cause is at the forefront of everything that we do. 

"I think I've come to accept that this could potentially be my life now."

Rafiq himself was found to have made offensive remarks after anti-Semitic messages he sent in 2011 resurfaced, an act he again apologised for.

"I don't know how I've coped," he added. "But I'm still here, still breathing, still fighting it. Look, there are a few things that have happened. 

"As I've said several times, and the anti-Semitic messages that surfaced from myself as a young lad are something that makes me really angry. 

"Something I'm really disappointed in myself about, and I've tried my best to apologise to the Jewish community and also trying to spend more time learning about their culture which I'll continue to do.

"But some of the other things that have happened and continue to happen behind the scenes have been outrageous, to be honest. 

"It's been difficult because it's got to the point where there have been concerns around my family's physical safety."

Despite his efforts to tell of the troubling experiences that he encountered, Rafiq believes cricket remains in denial of the racial issues within the sport.

"As the DCMS [Department for Culture, Media and Sport] report said, the fact that there was a need for a South Asian action plan just shows that the ECB and the game have been fully well aware of the issue," he continued. 

"There is an action plan from 1999, if I'm not wrong, which is readily available online, which shows that there has been an issue for a very long time. Everyone has been aware of it but not wanted to do anything about it.

"It just says everything that it needs to say. That it's taken someone to basically sacrifice their life, in a way, and their future, potentially, to bring this to the forefront. 

"The worrying thing for me is how little I still feel that the game has listened since the DCMS. I still feel like the game is in serious denial. 

"I have serious concerns that the game is going to try and look at some of the other issues that it has, [and] there's a lot of them, to try and forget about inclusivity and diversity."

I don’t like bowling maidens – Rehan Ahmed relishing role in England’s new era

Rehan Ahmed is loving life as Ben Stokes’ leg-spin wildcard, admitting he finds bowling maidens “boring” and may have struggled to find his place in a different era of English cricket.

Ahmed became the country’s youngest ever men’s Test cricketer when he claimed a five-wicket haul on debut in Karachi, but has had to wait almost 14 months for his next opportunity on turning pitches in India.

After playing a supporting role in the opening game at Hyderabad, the 19-year-old enjoyed a more central part in the second Test, claiming three wickets in each innings and volunteering himself for promotion in the batting order as the so-called ‘nighthawk’.

Spurred on by the attacking instincts of captain Stokes, Ahmed has been given full licence to make things happen without worrying about his economy rate and looks well placed to resist England’s historic aversion to wrist-spin.

“I don’t like bowling maidens. I think that’s just boring. I’ll try and change things,” he said, refreshingly honest about his role in the side.

“The leadership and the back-up we have has been very good. They just don’t care about how bad things can go, it’s always about what good you can get out of it.

“If I bowl four bad balls and get a wicket, that’s better than bowling 16 good balls in a row. I think that says more about the team and how comfortable I feel with this team.”

The story of talented English leg-spinners is a brief and largely unhappy one, with the likes of Ian Salisbury, Chris Schofield, Scott Borthwick and Matt Parkinson all failing to turn potential into a long-term place.

But the one that really got away in the Test arena is Adil Rashid: a two-format World Cup winner in white-ball cricket and record T20 wicket-taker, but owner of just 19 red-ball caps and 60 wickets.

He helped mentor Ahmed when he first emerged on the international scene and the pair are still in regular contact.

While fans may wonder how a player like Rashid would have fared under the current regime, Ahmed realises he is lucky to operating in a different environment.

“Rash was in England cricket at a different time to me,” he said.

“The way he grew up and the way he played is how England cricket was then. Leg-spinners were always felt to not be the controlling ones. Obviously he would have wanted to play more Test cricket, but the time he played didn’t allow that.

“He’s had an unbelievable career and had a huge influence on a lot of players where I’m from, he has done so much for me in cricket.

“(But) Rash grew up with more traditional leg-spin. In this new era with attacking, positive mindsets, I think I fit into this team whereas he fit into that team. It’s just two different players at two different times.”

As well as helping Ahmed with his craft, Rashid and Moeen Ali also helped pave the way in making their Muslim faith an everyday part of life in camp.

Ahmed sat out an optional training session ahead of the second Test as he was fasting and earlier excused himself from a team together that clashed with prayers.

“My faith is obviously much more important than cricket, that’s first in my life,” Ahmed said.

“As long as I’m ticking that over properly, I’m fine whatever happens in cricket. I think that’s what helps me be so calm on the field. Stokes is so good with that.

“He messaged me and said ‘come to me whenever you want about this kind of stuff, I understand it fully’ and he’s stuck by his word. Every time I pray, he is so respectful and understanding. Everyone is on this tour.”

One thing that may prove more divisive is Ahmed’s views on the squad’s favourite pastime, which will feature heavily in the coming days as they take a break in Abu Dhabi ahead of the third Test.

He added: “Golf? Nah. I’m not sure how anyone plays that. It’s a shocking sport.”

I don’t like the word defending – Jos Buttler wants England to attack

Buttler remains fiercely proud of the 2019 triumph but has made it clear that the four-year-old title carries little weight once the tournament gets under way on Thursday, when England take on New Zealand in a repeat of the previous final.

The attachment to the trophy-winning side is clear – with eight of that squad on duty once again here and a ninth, Jofra Archer, in tow as a travelling reserve – but the captain is eager to draw a clear line under the past.

And that starts with banishing unhelpful terminology.

“I don’t see us as defending champions. We’re not defending anything. I want us to attack so I don’t like the word defending,” he said.

“It may be a motivation for certain teams when they’ve been in that position, but for us it’s irrelevant. It certainly is for me.

“It’s fantastic to be reigning champions and I won’t say we’ve left that behind completely because it’s a nice place to be, but you’ve given that trophy back now.

“It’s done. It’s about trying to create something new. We must be hungry to do it again and try to be focused on something different.

“I think the hunger is there. For most professional sports people, there’s always a want for more, there’s always a desire for more, a hunger for more.

“We wouldn’t be here if we were content with what we’ve done and you’re always excited for the new challenge.”

Buttler was the man who applied the finishing touch that secured England’s first World Cup at Lord’s, completing the run out that separated the two teams on the now defunct boundary countback rule, before taking over as captain for last year’s T20 success in Australia.

Having unified both white-ball crowns, the next seven weeks offer an opportunity to make it three global trophies in the space of four years.

That would be the kind of legacy to put England’s golden generation up with the very best there has been and Buttler is happy to be held to such high standards.

“We’re all dreamers and we all want to be able to say those things,” he said.

“It’s a nice place to be as an English sports team that fans expect you to do well and we’ll try our best for the fans back home and those that make it out here.

“I think the biggest thing is we know we are a team who like being in that position of having expectations on us.

“It’s a great place to be, I’d rather be there than a non-fancied side that nobody thinks has a chance.

“We’ve got some of the best players in the world in our team – that gives us a great chance.”

How much further the current team can take their story is open to debate. There are 11 thirtysomethings in the current squad of 15, including five who will be 34 by the end of the month.

A raft of retirements at the end of the World Cup would hardly be a huge surprise ahead of a new four-year cycle.

“We know we are an older squad than some and that should be a feather in everyone’s cap because of how professional we are to be playing to the standard we are at this age,” Buttler said.

“Age is not the defining factor – and we don’t need to add pressure by saying this is the last one – but I think it’s quite obvious with a few people being where they are at in their careers and the next ODI World Cup being four years away.

“But we’ll do our thing, we always try and enjoy the pleasure of playing for England. It’s a team that’s been together a long time and there’s some great friendships there and this World Cup is part of that story.

“We’ll try and make more great memories and cherish every moment as team-mates, friends and colleagues.”

I feel like the group are behind me' – Root defiant as England slump to West Indies defeat

Root believes team-mates remain firmly supportive of his leadership, despite a disappointing loss against West Indies.

Draws in Antigua and Barbados teed up a winner-takes-all decider in Grenada, but Root's tourists were always behind after falling to 90-8 on the first day.

Jack Leach and Saqib Mahmood proved unlikely heroes to drag England to 204 all out in the first innings, though a sorry bowling performance allowed West Indies, inspired by Joshua da Silva's maiden Test ton, to scramble to 297 - a lead of 93.

Further batting struggles saw the visitors skittled for just 120 second time around, leaving Kraigg Brathwaite and John Campbell to chase down a target of 28 in just 29 balls on Sunday, sealing a 10-wicket win.

"I've made it quite clear at the start of this game and throughout this tour that I'm very passionate about trying to take this team forward," Root said.

"I will control all that I can. I don't think it's ever in your hands completely. I feel like the group are very much behind me. We're doing a lot of really good things; we just need to turn that into results now."

England are without a win in five Test series, stretching back to a triumph over Sri Lanka at the start of last year. They are also without a win in their last nine Tests, losing six of those, which is their longest winless streak in the format since a run of 10 between August 2013 and July 2014.

Root told BT Sport he felt a sense of "frustration", adding: "Throughout this series we've played some really good cricket, and we've shown what we're capable of as a group.

"We've grown over the first two games as a batting group, and we've shown big strides in that department, and shown what we are capable of. Yesterday really let us down, it's really hurt us, and it's an important day within the series.

"We just didn't stand up to it well enough, and unfortunately you find us in this position where we've ended up losing the series after we played so much brilliant cricket."

The England skipper added: "I thought the attitude throughout the whole thing has been brilliant – in that respect we've definitely made big improvements. That has to continue.

"There are so many good things we can take away from this. Of course, we came here to win, and we've not, and that's frustrating, that's disappointing. But if we're going to keep learning and keep growing as a team, and if we're going to start winning, then we've got to keep that approach."

Interim head coach Paul Collingwood, who replaced Chris Silverwood in the wake of a 4-0 Ashes thrashing, said he had observed total support for Root among England's players.

He said: "The one thing you do notice in that dressing room is that the team is together, they're right behind Joe.

"You can see all the players, all the management, and you can see Joe himself, he's got the determination to still take this team forward and get results.

"The leadership doesn't affect his batting. He's still going out there and scoring the runs and he's still desperate to turn things around and desperate to make this team the best they can be."

Regarding his own uncertain future with England, as the search continues for a permanent coach, Collingwood added: "If I was to be given the job, or they decide they want to give me the job, then I would certainly take it. I've enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting to."

I play my best cricket when I keep it simple' - in-form King looking to take things one ball at a time on Windies return

King was named as part of the Windies T20 squad who will play against England in the upcoming five-match series.  The batsman looked in solid form after returning to the team against Pakistan last month, after more than a year away from the team.  He scored 111 runs in three matches, with an average of 37 and a high score of 67.

On the back of another controlled showing against a BCA President's XI in a warm-up match at Kensington Oval, on Tuesday, King will be looking to provide solidity against the English for a Windies team that has struggled as of late.

“For me mentally, I play my best cricket when I am keeping things simple out there while I am batting.  I just try and play the situation as it is and that has really helped me to do better out there,” King said of his form since returning to the team.

Despite the World Cup coming up later this year, however, and the West Indies in rebuilding mode, he insists he is not looking too far ahead in terms of regular selection.

“I try to focus on the things that I can control.  For me, that is just every game that presents itself I just try and do my best and perform.  Selection and those other aspects I don’t have any control over it but I just try and put myself in a position to be in the conversation.”

I think it showed today' - Powell took time to work on weakness to wrist spin

The 28-year-old returned to the regional squad with a bang on Wednesday, blasting the first T20I century of his career, and third for a West Indian player, with 107 in a 20-runs win against England.  The crucial innings, along with 70 from vice-captain Nicholas Pooran anchored the team’s effort in taking a 2-1 series lead.

In the batsman’s previous appearance, against Pakistan, he averaged 16.5 in three games where he had real issues navigating wrist spinner Shadab Khan.

“I think it’s been overall improvement, I can strike the ball well but I also have a little problem with wrist spin.  Every time I start my innings they come and bowl wrist spin.

I went away and for the last six, seven months and I’ve been working on wrist spin and trying to open up the offside and I think that showed today," Powell said after the game.

Powell played a watchful innings in seeing off dangerous England spinner Adil Rashid, who claimed 2 for 24 in the previous match of the series.

“We know Rashid is the most threatening of all the bowlers, so all we did is see if we can get 24 or 30 off him, that’s good, just to limit his wicket count and take our chances against the other bowlers for the other 16 overs.”

I thought I wouldn't get this chance again' – Hales expresses pride at England recall

The explosive batsman has been named in the squad for next month's World Cup in Australia, having last played for England in a T20I fixture against West Indies in March 2019.

Hales was dropped from that year's World Cup-winning squad after testing positive for recreational drugs prior to the tournament, while then white-ball captain Eoin Morgan cited a "complete breakdown in trust" for his continued exile since.

However, the 33-year-old was recalled after an injury to Jonny Bairstow, and could open on Tuesday when England play the first of their seven-matches series in Pakistan.

"[Being left out of the 2019 World Cup squad] was extremely painful," he admitted. "It's your worst nightmare: to be involved in a World Cup squad, missing out on the eve of it.

"It was brilliant to see the team lifting it, but at the same time, it eats at you inside that you should have been part of it, and you weren't.

"I guess that drives you on, to improve as a person and a cricketer and get that spot back that you feel you deserve.

"I did think that the chance would not come again, for sure. At times, I felt like I wouldn't get this chance again.

"I felt like I'd been playing the best cricket of my career over those three years as well, so to get this chance again at this time is something I'm really proud of and something I'm really looking forward to. I feel like I can help push this team forward."

He continued: "I think I have changed. I've definitely matured. I'm comfortably into my 30s now and turning into a veteran. I feel as though I've grown as a person. Where I am at the moment – on and off the field – is probably the best of my career so far.

"I'm treating this as a blank canvas and only looking to the future now. I'm really looking forward to the next two weeks in Pakistan and what the World Cup can bring."

I thought I'd clipped it for two! – Pope overjoyed by maiden century

Pope was on 96 when he tucked away a neat shot through a gap in the South African field on his leg side, propelling the 22-year-old to his first Test century on day two in Port Elizabeth.

The Surrey batsman went on to finish on 135 not out as England declared at 499-9 before limiting South Africa to 60-2 prior to rain stopping play.

"I thought I'd clipped it for two!" an ecstatic Pope told reporters after stumps.

"It's quite hard to put into words. I was lucky enough to see Dom Sibley get his first hundred last week, I've seen Ben Foakes get his first hundred in Sri Lanka.

"I've always sat there watching and been ecstatic for them and thought it must be an amazing feeling. So to actually do it was an awesome feeling."

However, things would have been different had Pope not heeded the advice of Ben Stokes, who himself scored his ninth Test century.

Pope was given out leg before wicket to Dane Paterson while on 74, but Stokes convinced the youngster to use a review with two seconds of the 15 remaining.

"I thought it would be me heading back to the changing rooms to be honest," Pope added.

"When Stokesy told me to review with two seconds left I thought it was clutching at straws a bit. When we saw the replay we saw the green and it was a pretty good feeling at that point."

Pope missed significant time in 2019 due to a shoulder injury and says his spell out gave him extra desire to succeed when given the chance with England.

"From a mental point, I go back to those three months, it gave me a real hunger to come back," Pope said.

"I had no idea how close I was to the England team at the time but I came back and found a bit of form straight away so it made me that bit hungrier, I think."

I was a tired, grumpy old man' - Stokes apologised to England team-mates after Pakistan defeat

The hosts levelled the three-Test series on Thursday after wrapping up a 152-run win in Multan.

However, it could have been a different story but for fielding errors at crucial stages for the visitors, Jamie Smith and Joe Root notably dropping catches to dismiss Salman Agha, whose subsequent knock of 63 helped Pakistan seal victory with a day to spare.

Stokes, who returned to action following a hamstring injury, could not hide his frustration during a difficult day for England, but insisted he would not let his emotions get the better of him again.

"No one means to drop catches, but it just proves how important catches are in these subcontinent conditions, they don't come along that often," he told Sky Sports.

"I actually apologised to the group last night. It's the first time in my captaincy that I've let my emotions and how I was feeling with the way the game was unfolding show in my body language.

"I owned up to that and was very annoyed at myself for letting that out. It's something that I don't want to do or be seen to be doing, so I apologised to the group about that.

"Poor old me, I was a tired, grumpy old man last night! You won't see that happen again."

However, England coach Brendon McCullum defended the actions of his skipper.

"We all know how passionate Ben is, how much it means for him to play for England," he said.

"We've seen that through his bloody-mindedness to get back from injury, which was significant, and to do so in a nine-week timeframe and to have his first TM [Test match] in extreme conditions, 40 degrees, and be able to give what he gave to the side.

"I think, maybe, that's where some of that frustration led to - certainly, it wasn't directed at any of the players. It was more about trying to assess the rhythm of the game, and to impact on it."

I wish the Ashes were next week' - Trescothick excited by England's form

England's thrilling 74-run victory in the first Test against Pakistan generated huge praise for captain Ben Stokes, after his bold declaration helped to force a result on what was a flat pitch.

England have now triumphed in seven of their past eight Test matches, a stark improvement after failing to win in their previous nine.

The upturn in form bodes well ahead of a home Ashes series against Australia in 2023, with head coach Brendon McCullum's appointment in May of this year breathing new life into English cricket with an exciting new style.

England batting coach Trescothick says he cannot wait for the Ashes next year, and spoke of his admiration for McCullum's tactics.

"It is the exciting part [the Ashes]," Trescothick told reporters. "I wish we were going into the Ashes next week. If it continues on in this form then it bodes for a great series.

"As we say we do not look too far ahead in what is going on. But it is exciting, no doubt about it, because India series and Ashes series are the pinnacle of what we do in Test cricket."

Trescothick played for England between 2000 and 2006, and explained he would have loved to play in this expansive style McCullum has brought in.

"Any batter would have loved this," Trescothick added. "We would have loved this environment because it is so free.

"It is enjoyable, the methods and way we are talking about it in the changing room is exciting.

"You want to come out here every day, walk out with them and have the opportunity to bat. It is still great watching from the balcony and seeing what they do."

I would have asked to bat in top four on debut, says England's Bethell

Bethell scored an unbeaten 50 off 37 balls after coming in at number three and also hit the winning runs as the tourists posted an eight-wicket win in the first Test in Christchurch.

"I would have asked for it to be honest," Bethell told BBC Sport. 

"I like batting up the order so I was really happy that opportunity arose. I've always wanted to bat in the top four, so three is perfect," added Bethell, who had not battled above number four in his first-class career where he has an average of 25.44 from 30 innings.

The 21-year-old was called up to the England squad as a batting cover, but found himself in the line-up after an injury to wicketkeeper Jordan Cox.

Bethell was dismissed for 10 in his first Test innings, but produced a quick half-century in the second as England chased down the 104-run target set by New Zealand with ease. 

"It's everything I've dreamed of," said Bethell, who hit eight fours and a six during his knock. 

"It lived up to expectations. It was so fun."

But Bethell will have his work cut out to keep his number three spot with Ollie Pope, who moved down the order due to workload management after wicketkeeping duties, being the regular for England in that position. 

"It was my first experience playing in front of packed grass banks, pristine outfield, good pitches and playing against a good team, so it was great," Bethell said. 

"To come out in the second innings and have a chance to walk off with an England win was at the forefront of my mind and luckily I was able to do that."

Born in Barbados, Bethell moved to England at the age of 13 and made his T20 and ODI debuts against Australia in September.  

He has scored three scores of 50 or more in 15 limited-over appearances for England so far, earning him a contract with Royal Challengers Bengaluru in the Indian Premier League worth about £245,000.

The second Test of the three-match series will begin in Wellington on Thursday.

I would've asked to bat in top four on debut, says England's Bethell

Bethell scored an unbeaten 50 off 37 balls after coming in at number three and also hit the winning runs as the tourists posted an eight-wicket win in the first Test in Christchurch.

"I would have asked for it to be honest," Bethell told BBC Sport. 

"I like batting up the order so I was really happy that opportunity arose. I've always wanted to bat in the top four, so three is perfect," added Bethell, who had not battled above number four in his first-class career where he has an average of 25.44 from 30 innings.

The 21-year-old was called up to the England squad as a batting cover, but found himself in the line-up after an injury to wicketkeeper Jordan Cox.

Bethell was dismissed for 10 in his first Test innings, but produced a quick half-century in the second as England chased down the 104-run target set by New Zealand with ease. 

"It's everything I've dreamed of," said Bethell, who hit eight fours and a six during his knock. 

"It lived up to expectations. It was so fun."

But Bethell will have his work cut out to keep his number three spot with Ollie Pope, who moved down the order due to workload management after wicketkeeping duties, being the regular for England in that position. 

"It was my first experience playing in front of packed grass banks, pristine outfield, good pitches and playing against a good team, so it was great," Bethell said. 

"To come out in the second innings and have a chance to walk off with an England win was at the forefront of my mind and luckily I was able to do that."

Born in Barbados, Bethell moved to England at the age of 13 and made his T20 and ODI debuts against Australia in September.  

He has scored three scores of 50 or more in 15 limited-over appearances for England so far, earning him a contract with Royal Challengers Bengaluru in the Indian Premier League worth about £245,000.

The second Test of the three-match series will begin in Wellington on Thursday.

I'd love to play under McCullum and Stokesy' – Moeen Ali hints at Test return for England

Moeen announced his retirement from red-ball internationals last September after struggling to maintain focus in the five-day game and enjoying shorter-format cricket.

The 34-year-old scored 2,914 Test runs at an average of 28.3 and picked up 195 wickets at 36.7, including a hat-trick against South Africa at The Oval in 2017.

Only James Anderson and Stuart Broad took more Test wickets for England during Moeen's time in the side, while the off-spinner ranked 12th for dismissals in the world in that same period.

Stokes has since been appointed captain as the successor to Joe Root, partnering with coach McCullum, who replaced Chris Silverwood after his dismissal.

That has led to suggestions for a potential Test return for white-ball star Jos Buttler and also Moeen, who acknowledged it would be hard to refuse the new leadership pair.

"There's a possibility. I'm a big one for never say never. We'll see what happens," Moeen told BBC's Test Match Special on Saturday.

"Brendon got the job and he messaged me the day after, during the IPL, and said 'are you in?'

"He said he would call me at the weekend. So, we spoke and he said 'in the future if we need you, if there are injuries or a tour in the subcontinent etc, are you keen to play?'

"He's a very difficult person to say no to and I found that very, very hard. He's very convincing.

"To be honest, I'd love to play under him and Stokesy. Both of them have that character about them. They're very aggressive. I think I would suit their cricket a bit more and I think they feel I would suit them as well.

"I said to Brendon the door is never always closed if your country needs you, or guys are injured or your team needs you for balance. So, yeah, I'm keen."

Moeen may target a return to the Test setup when England tour Pakistan for a three-match series next September, with the tourists requiring spinning options on turning pitches in the subcontinent.

"We've not been there for many, many years. It would be a great tour to be part of, for sure," Moeen added.

I'd sit on the couch crying - Paine reveals mental health struggles

Paine required seven operations after breaking his finger back in 2010, but earned an Australia recall seven years later and took over as skipper in 2018.

The 35-year-old was on the verge of quitting when he was out of the Tasmania team in 2017.

Wicketkeeper-batsman Paine has opened up on the struggles he has endured over the years and the doubts he had when he returned to the highest level.

He told the Bounce Back podcast: "When I started training and playing again I wasn't too bad, until I started to face guys who bowled a lot quicker.

"And they'd be running in and instead of thinking about hitting the ball, I was thinking: 'Geez I hope he doesn't hit me on the finger'.

"From there it was just a downward spiral. I lost absolutely all confidence. I didn't tell anyone about it. The truth is, one, I was scared of getting hit and two, I just didn’t know what I was going to do."

Paine revealed he did not let it be known he was struggling.

“I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. I was so nervous before games, I was horrible to live with," he added.

"I was pretty ordinary to my partner, who is now my wife [Bonnie]. I was always angry and took out that I wasn't doing well on other people.

"I was embarrassed at what I had become. No one knew I was struggling, not my mates, not my partner. There were times when she was at work and I'd sit on the couch crying. It was weird and it was painful."

Paine said talking to a sports psychologist at Cricket Tasmania helped him to get his career back on track.

"It was the first time I actually told anyone what was going on, but I remember walking out of that room and instantly feeling better, that I had let someone in and that was the first step to dealing with, admitting I needed help," he said.

He also found that saying what was on his mind helped him to overcome self-doubt when he was recalled for the 2017-18 Ashes series.

"It went from an amazing feeling... and then I thought that's not good," he said.

"I'm going to have to bat in front of people and there are going to be millions of people watching. And for three or four days after I thought I don't want to do this.

"Again, spoke to some people and got that stuff off my chest and I thought bugger it, I'll just make the most of it... I'm going to enjoy it."

I'm going to reserve my comments - Elgar frustrated with Ultra-Edge in Cape Town

The South Africa batsman had openly acknowledged his error in the first innings when his key wicket went to Dom Bess, but he felt unfairly treated in his second stint with the bat.

The Proteas were steadily chipping away at a target of 438, 71 without loss, when Elgar was given out to Denly having edged behind to Jos Buttler.

Elgar was adamant there was no contact, however, even as Ultra-Edge showed a tiny spike when the ball passed his bat, costing his team a review.

Asked if he hit the ball after South Africa reached stumps on 126-2, Elgar told Sky Sports: "No. I wouldn't waste the referral knowing that I've nicked it.

"I don't play cricket like that. I like to see myself as someone who takes the out if I'm definitely out. Like I say, I wouldn't waste it on that.

"It's a bit of an emotional time when those kinds of things happen. Obviously, I had to simmer down and, watching the footage, I could still say I didn't hit it."

On Ultra-Edge, Elgar added: "Please don't [get me a fine]. I don't know.

"I think I'm just going to reserve my comments, because I obviously don't want to get in trouble with the ICC. As a player, I can say I'm very confident I didn't nick it.

"Our coach also alluded to [the elbow hitting the pad on Ultra-Edge]. It is what it is, and so be it. It's what creates the theatre of Test cricket, I suppose.

"Sometimes you have those things go your way, and sometimes you don't. Unfortunately, today, feeling a million dollars, it just didn't work out for us. But we've still got guys in the shed."

Despite Elgar's frustration, South Africa remain in the Test match, 312 runs short of victory with eight wickets remaining heading into the final day.

"I think it's ball by ball at the moment," Elgar said. "We've got 540 balls and we're going to try to break it up per batsman.

"We just need two or three guys to come in and really grind it out. We've got batters in the shed who can do it, and the wicket's playing quite nicely. You've just got to start well on this wicket."

I'm letting the team and myself down - Rabada vows to keep emotions in check

The paceman was sanctioned for his exuberant celebration after claiming the wicket of England skipper Joe Root on day one of the third contest at St George's Park.

Rabada was found guilty of a level one breach of the ICC code of conduct, earning a fourth demerit point in a two-year period and triggering a one-match ban.

With South Africa 2-1 down and needing a big improvement to avoid a series defeat, Rabada's absence represents a huge blow to the struggling Proteas.

The 24-year-old is unsure whether his actions were worthy of punishment but acknowledged it is a side of his game he must work on.

"It's something that I didn't expect. Whether it was the right thing to ban me, or the wrong thing, the reality is that I am banned," he said.

"Obviously it hurts, but it gives me a chance to work on my game and to have a bit of a rest.

"It can't keep happening, because I'm letting the team down and I'm letting myself down. It just can't keep happening and that's why it hurts so much."

South Africa were resoundingly beaten by an innings and 53 runs in Port Elizabeth and Rabada concedes the team are struggling to find solutions.

"It's difficult to find solutions when you are not doing so well in your career, and us as a team have not been doing so well," he added.

"You can get into a situation where you overthink trying to find solutions, so it's quite tough to say what to do. I think the most important thing would be to stay positive and play positively.

"It's difficult when you're not playing well and everyone will have an opinion on you. We've played cricket long enough to know how to get out of a slump, but it can be difficult."

I'm ready to do what it takes' - Chase prepared to fit in wherever to secure Windies win

The 28-year-old batting rounder has emerged as a valuable utility player for the Windies in recent years.  That ability was on full display the last time the teams met, in the Caribbean, where Chase scored a half-century and took eight wickets in the first Test, a win for the West Indies, and scored 102 in the dead rubber loss.

As it stands, heading into the upcoming series with no clear direction on the match-day team composition, Chase, in terms of his bowling, could be used from anywhere between the first spin option to back-up spin option.  For batting options, he could be moved further up the order with the absence of Shimron Hetmyer and Darren Bravo or be tasked with providing crucial lower middle-order runs.  According to Chase, however, whatever configuration he is picked in will suit him just fine.

“I’m ready to do whatever it takes for us to be victorious, to be successful.  Last time we came to England its something I had to do quite a bit of, so it’s not new to me,” Chase told members of the media.

“I am looking forward to that challenge if we go with the four-pronged attack, if not I’ll just try to contribute to my team in any way possible,” he added.

 As a part of the last tour in 2017 Chase struggled with the bat but managed to claim seven wickets.

I've gone through a lot of stuff' - Stokes proud of his journey to becoming England Test captain

Stokes took a break from cricket for five months in 2021 to prioritise his mental health after suffering panic attacks, recently revealing that he feared he may never play cricket again.

Since his return he has taken over the England Test captaincy from Joe Root and won his first four matches before last week's defeat to visiting South Africa.

The 31-year-old is the focus of a new Amazon Prime documentary that goes into detail on Stokes' battle with mental health.

On Wednesday he reflected on his journey, telling reporters: "Looking back on everything I went through and seeing myself in a different way is something I can look back on now and almost go 'I've gone through a lot of stuff' but managed to work my way through it.

"To be here today as England Test captain is something hopefully a lot of people can take a lot of promise from and realise that even when you do feel like you are down and dark you can bounce back and achieve things you want to.

"When the project had finished and I watched it back for the first time, the first impression I got was that maybe it would help people.

"I went into quite a lot with it because the experiences I went through was something that a lot of people do go through but sometimes don't feel like they can talk about. 

"But me being me, and the platform I've got to go into what I went through from a non-selfish point of view, was something I wanted to do.

"And I'm actually very proud of the stuff I've gone into and I've already received a lot of messages from people saying thanks for doing what you did."

I've never experienced anything like it' – Leach praises Stokes and McCullum for restoring belief

The Somerset spinner took 5-66 on day four of England's fourth Test against New Zealand to claim his first 10-wicket haul in the format.

Leach is the first England spinner to take 10 wickets in a Test since Moeen Ali in 2017.

Not since Derek Underwood against Pakistan at Lord's in 1974 had an England spinner claimed two five-fors in a home Test.

Stokes and McCullum have put their faith in Leach and been rewarded; he is thriving under the new leadership, with England on course for a clean sweep in their three-match series against the Black Caps.

"[Under Stokes] it's really attacking, and I am really enjoying bowling attackingly [sic]," Leach told Sky Sports.

"Stokesy's confidence in his decisions but also in us as players – I have never experienced anything like it.

"It is very special to be a part of, and that is credit to Stokesy and Baz [McCullum] for setting that up.

"You realise teams I have played in, the way I have thought, a lot of decisions are made around negativity.

"A lot of four or five-day games you give up on the win quite early, but now it feels like you are always pushing for that win, so there is never really too bad a situation.

"My biggest thing is having belief in myself, and that is what Ben and Baz have helped me with."

Leach's latest impressive showing helped England to bowl out their opponents for 326 in their second innings, leaving the hosts requiring 296 runs for victory in Yorkshire.

Continuing their attacking approach under Stokes and McCullum, England will enter the final day on 183-2 thanks to strong work by Ollie Pope (81 not out) and Joe Root (55 no).

Zak Crawley (25) and Alex Lees (nine) fell early on in the chase, but Pope and Root's unbeaten 132-run stand means England now require just 113 runs with eight wickets in hand.

Should England complete the job on Monday, they will become the first team in Test history to successfully chase a target of at least 250 three times in a single series.

But Tom Blundell (88 no), who became the highest-scoring visiting wicketkeeper in a Test series in England, vowed that New Zealand will give their all to avoid a whitewash.

"This team has been known to fight, and we've got to come out there and do that tomorrow," he said. "You put a couple of wickets on there and you just never know.

"Obviously you've got two guys out there in good form, but if we get one of those, who knows?

"The wicket is deteriorating. A little bit of variable bounce, obviously with the spin as well. It's quite hard to drive with that older ball. 

"It looks like it's going to deteriorate even more, and hopefully we can utilise that tomorrow."

I've never had more fun playing professional cricket' – Root relishing England's rapid progress

Having recorded memorable triumphs over New Zealand and India since Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum took over as the side's captain and coach partnership, England enjoyed further success as they sealed a nine-wicket victory over the Proteas at The Oval on Monday.

England have now claimed four consecutive series wins over South Africa, and have won six of their seven Tests under the new regime.

They have also earned widespread praise for their adventurous style under McCullum – dubbed 'Bazball' – and Root has been impressed by their rapid progress.  

"It's been absolute class," the former skipper said. "It's been great to be part of, so much fun to play the way we have played, and to win six out of seven is a reflection of the quality with which we've played. 

"It makes the winter and beyond look very exciting for this team. To know there's still more potential and areas we can improve is the most exciting part of it. 

"We're definitely not the finished article, but to see the strides we've made in such a short space of time has been a breath of fresh air. 

"I'm buzzing about it, to be honest, looking forward to the next series already!

"I've never had more fun playing professional cricket. Honestly, it is hard to put into words. You turn up every day, and you're very excited about what's going to happen. It's the unknown. 

"It's quite a strange feeling to have played 120-odd games, still to have that feeling when you turn up every day. 

"It's a really good place to be. It keeps you very hungry and motivated. You can bounce off the energy of everybody else who is in the same mindset."

Root then compared England's development to that of the country's one-day side, who won the 2019 World Cup following a change in style under the captaincy of Eoin Morgan.

"Some of the things we'd never seen before in Test cricket happened in a short space of time. It's nice to know what we're capable of," he added. 

"It almost feels like - I hate drawing the comparison, but there is a small feeling of what it was like when we started to make those really big scores in the white-ball team. 

"That's the exciting thing - what is the limit, how far can we go? 

"You look at what that team has achieved over a period of time. I know it is early days and a lot of different elements to Test cricket, compared to the white-ball format, but it is very exciting that there is the same sort of vibe around, in my mind anyway."