The suggestion Manchester United are enduring a trophy drought might feel frankly offensive to followers of Newcastle United, their EFL Cup final opponents.
When Newcastle last won a domestic cup, the 1955 FA Cup, they had twice as many major honours to their name (10) as Man United (five).
Since then, though, the side from Old Trafford have won 17 league titles, 15 domestic cups and five major European competitions.
In the same period, Newcastle have celebrated success only in the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup – a competition not recognised by UEFA.
Newcastle can end their 68-year wait for a domestic triumph on Sunday but must beat these most familiar of foes, for Man United have done more than most to extend that barren run on Tyneside.
Before this season, the Magpies' last semi-final was a 4-1 FA Cup defeat to Man United in 2005. Their last final was a 2-0 FA Cup defeat to the same opposition in 1999.
Those are counted among seven cup meetings between the sides since 1955, of which Man United have won six, including a 4-0 victory in the 1996 Community Shield.
That, like the 1999 FA Cup final, contributes to Newcastle's eight-game losing streak at Wembley – a record – having won on each of their first five trips to the national stadium.
Even in the league, Newcastle's best two campaigns since 1955 have seen them finish as runners-up to Man United. They have not finished above Man United since 1976-77.
This looked like being a season in which that sequence at least could be ended, but Newcastle have slipped below Man United and out of the top four since their semi-final win over Southampton.
In fact, only Aston Villa and Leeds United have collected fewer points than Newcastle in that time, while no Premier League team have earned as many as Man United.
Eddie Howe's men have understandably been distracted by their looming Wembley date, for which there could hardly be more fitting opponents.
"We're pleased the final's here. I didn't want the wait to be any longer," Howe said after Saturday's defeat to Liverpool, adding: "I wouldn't criticise the players in terms of focusing on the final ahead of the Premier League, but the talk of it has been there."
Yet even before this final, Man United have managed to hurt Newcastle again.
Nick Pope's red card in the Liverpool game saw him ruled out of Sunday's match, and Martin Dubravka cannot play either after spending the first half of the season out on loan at Man United of all teams.
Having played twice in the EFL Cup at Old Trafford, Dubravka is cup-tied and will receive a winners' medal only if his Newcastle team-mates lose. They will be relying instead on Loris Karius, making his debut for the club.
Even had Dubravka been available, Pope would be a big miss. He is so key to the way Newcastle play – with a high line but a slow defence – ironically due to his ability to do the thing that saw him sent off.
Pope leads the Premier League in keeper sweepings (24), mopping up passes in behind the back line effectively when not comically handling the ball outside his area.
No goalkeeper in the country then might have been better suited to combatting Man United's approach, which relies heavily on the speed of Marcus Rashford. They rank joint-first for fast breaks (22), joint-second for shots from fast breaks (16) and first for goals from fast breaks (seven), with Rashford scoring two of those.
Karius, now tasked with stopping Rashford, last appeared for an English club in another final, making two awful errors for Liverpool in their 2018 Champions League final defeat to Real Madrid after sustaining a concussion.
His potential redemption tale in this showpiece adds another layer of narrative that was scarcely needed.
"It would be a magnificent chance for him to rewrite the story of his career," said Howe, while Dubravka added: "It's like the script from a movie. So incredible."
It is not a plot twist anyone involved with Newcastle would have chosen – except perhaps for those following the club this season for a documentary series. "Now we want a happy ending," said Dubravka.
Bruno Guimaraes is at least back from suspension to help with that, although so too is Brazil team-mate Casemiro in the Man United camp.
The former Real Madrid midfielder, like Rashford, provides a very physical threat, but of comparable concern to Newcastle and to Karius might be the considerable mental hurdles they must clear to finally bring silverware back to St James' Park.
Matildas captain Kerr to miss Olympic Games
Australia captain Sam Kerr will miss the Olympic Games in Paris after failing to recover from an anterior cruciate ligament injury in time for the team's upcoming friendlies.
The Chelsea forward suffered the injury during a mid-season training camp in January, leaving her participation in serious doubt.
Kerr represented the Matildas at the 2016 and 2020 Olympics, also playing at four World Cups and four Asian Cups during her international career.
On Tuesday, Football Australia confirmed Kerr will not make the Olympic tournament – which begins on July 25 and ends on August 10 – while announcing the squad for two matches against China this month.
"Attacker Amy Sayer (ACL) and forward Sam Kerr (ACL) remain on the sidelines with long-term injuries," a statement from the governing body said.
"Kerr and Sayer will continue their rehabilitation programmes in their home club environments and subsequently will not be available for selection for the Paris 2024 Olympic Games."
Kerr, who is Australia's record scorer with 69 goals, was limited to just seven starts in the 2023-24 Women's Super League, contributing four goals and three assists for the eventual champions.
Real Madrid and Germany midfielder Kroos to retire after Euro 2024
Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos will retire from football after representing Germany at Euro 2024.
The 34-year-old was thought likely to sign a new contract with Los Blancos, but he announced on Tuesday that he will hang up his boots after representing his country on home soil at the Euros.
Kroos has enjoyed a distinguished 10-year spell with Madrid, who he joined from Bayern Munich in 2014, winning LaLiga and the Champions League four times apiece with the Spanish giants.
He played a crucial role as Carlo Ancelotti's men regained their domestic title in 2023-24, but next week's Champions League final against Borussia Dortmund will be the final game of his club career before his Euros swansong.
He initially quit international football after the delayed Euro 2020 three years ago, only to agree to return to the fold under Julian Nagelsmann earlier this year.
In an open letter to Madrid's fans, Kroos wrote: "As I have always said, Real Madrid is and will be my last club.
"After 10 years, at the end of the season this chapter comes to an end. I will never forget this successful time! I would like to thank everyone that welcomed me with an open heart and trusted me.
"But especially I would like to thank you, dear Madridistas, for your affection and your love from the first day until the last one.
"At the same time this decision means that my career as an active footballer will end this summer after the Euro championship."
Kroos also issued a rallying cry as Madrid target a record-extending 15th European crown, adding: "I am happy and proud that in my mind I found the right timing for my decision and that I could choose it myself.
"My ambition was always to finish my career at the peak of my performance levels. From now on there is only one leading thought, la 15! Hala Madrid!"
Earps seeking answers before making decision on Man Utd future
Mary Earps will seek answers from Manchester United regarding the club's direction before making a decision on her future, saying she has felt like a "punching bag" this season.
Earps' contract with the Women's FA Cup winners is set to expire in June, and there have been few signs of progress concerning a new deal.
Last year, United rejected a world-record bid for Earps, who starred as England won Euro 2022 and finished as runners-up at the 2023 World Cup.
Arsenal, Paris Saint-Germain and other clubs have been linked with Earps, and she is biding her time after enduring a difficult campaign in which her commitment to United was called into question.
"The honest reality is that conversations are still ongoing," Earps told Sky Sports on Tuesday. "I've been clear I don't want to make an emotional decision.
"The beginning of the season was really tough, I felt really upset about things that were being said about me and things that came out that weren't true.
"I've tried to be professional, keep my head down, work hard, get on with my job and that's been hard. I've been a punching bag at times.
"I know I've given my heart and soul for the whole season. It's a tough situation.
"I've asked the club for some confirmation on what they're trying to achieve and when I have those answers I'll be able to make a decision. It's up to the club."
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