As concerns over social distancing and flight restrictions continue to surround Euro 2020, John Stones gave everyone the opportunity to construct their own joke when he soared high above the Scotland defence with no one particularly near him in the 11th minute at Wembley on Friday.
The England centre-back's jump was slightly mis-timed, though, and his header from a right-wing corner crashed against the post.
Worryingly for Gareth Southgate – well, as worried as it's sensible to be with four points on the board from two games in a group stage format lacking too much jeopardy – that was the closest the hosts came to breaking the deadlock in a 0-0 draw that crackled away without ever truly catching fire.
When England reached their first major tournament semi-final for 28 years at the 2018 World Cup, it felt churlish to complain that they often lacked threat from open play. Goals from well-constructed set-pieces count the same and there was an exciting generation of attacking talent on the way.
And yet, as Phil Foden and Mason Mount schemed against a disciplined Scotland with typical intelligence and craft, as Wembley clamour for Jack Grealish was sated midway through the second half and as Jadon Sancho inexplicably remained an unused substitute, here we were.
Rabid debate is now sure to follow over how England's support attackers should be configured, but concern might be better directed towards one of Southgate's untouchables.
When Harry Kane trudged off to be replaced by Marcus Rashford in the 74th minute, it was surprising only because of his deserved status as one of the finest centre-forwards in world football, not at all because of his performance.
In the first half, no player had fewer than Kane's 10 touches. That tally edged up to 19 by the time he departed and everything in between had been horribly laboured – even when Scotland bodies briefly appeared to part and his tired left-footed shot was blocked before the hour.
The opening two Group D games are the first time since last November that Kane has not managed a shot on target in a consecutive matches. Those games were against Chelsea and Manchester City.
If Kane is tired, it would be understandable. Among players classed as forwards by Opta in the Premier League, only Aston Villa's Ollie Watkins (3,329) and his Tottenham colleague Son Heung-min (3,121) played more than his 3,085 top-flight minutes in 2020-21.
The fact is that Scotland's unheralded front two Lyndon Dykes and Che Adams comfortably outplayed Kane and both came closer to scoring – QPR's Dykes in particular when he forced Reece James into a goalline clearance.
Kane's reputation as a creator has blossomed in recent years – he topped the Premier League standings for goals and assists last term – and he laid on a 55th-minute chance from which James should have done far better.
Still, his overall contribution, on and off the ball, was negligible, as England plodded about the turf ponderously deep, unable to muster more than Mount's solitary shot on target early in the second period.
The Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips midfield axis worked to fine effect in nullifying and overpowering Luka Modric and Croatia's arch schemers at the weekend. In the knockout stages, they could be vital in tandem once more, but as this match ticked by it felt like an excess of insurance.
As was the case during some of the less triumphant moments in Russia, Southgate stuck with his shape when dropping Mount deeper and deploying Grealish in tandem with Foden instead of sacrificing the Manchester City youngster looked like the best way to open up the contest.
Southgate's decision to stick rather than twist in-game is not a new problem, nor was the lack of creativity to which it contributed. However, they were issues that did not prevent England from going deep in the last World Cup or defeating its beaten finalists.
They are not new problems and are surmountable if all else is working well. On the other hand, an off-colour, non-threatening Kane is a new and growing problem and certainly not one England can continue to absorb if they want to bring football "home" or even to a vaguely agreeable postcode.
Coventry City 2-3 Hull City: Tigers win five-goal thriller to keep play-off hopes alive
Hull City kept their hopes of gatecrashing the Championship play-offs alive with a thrilling 3-2 win over beaten FA Cup semi-finalists Coventry City on Wednesday.
Noah Ohio scored the winner with his first touch after coming on as a second-half substitute as Hull moved within three points of sixth-placed Norwich City with two games to play.
Coventry, meanwhile, saw their own hopes of returning to Wembley Stadium for a second successive play-off final all but ended, as they sit six points further back with three matches remaining.
Three days on from their remarkable comeback against Manchester United, the Sky Blues twice fought back to level things at Coventry Building Society Arena. Jaden Philogene's shot squirmed under goalkeeper Bradley Collins to put Hull ahead 31 minutes in, but Kasey Palmer levelled within five minutes with a stunning free-kick.
Hull went back ahead in controversial circumstances on the stroke of half-time, Liverpool loanee Fabio Carvalho converting from the penalty spot despite replays showing Joel Latibeaudiere's foul on Liam Delap took place outside the area.
Mark Robins' men again dragged themselves back into the game as Bobby Thomas headed Jay Dasilva's cross in just before the hour mark, but it was Liam Rosenior's visitors who found a winner.
Thomas went from hero to villain as his poor back pass sold Collins short, and Ohio got a toe to the ball to score the winner, keeping Hull's hopes of Premier League football intact.
Van Dijk: Liverpool have 'no chance' in title race after derby defeat
Virgil van Dijk conceded Liverpool might be out of the Premier League title race after they suffered a surprise 2-0 defeat to Everton in Wednesday's Merseyside derby.
Jarrad Branthwaite and Dominic Calvert-Lewin scored in either half to give the Toffees their first win over Liverpool at Goodison Park since 2010.
Liverpool struggled to find a way through the Toffees' defence despite dominating for long periods, and the Reds' captain says they will not outlast Arsenal and Manchester City without major improvements.
Speaking to Sky Sports, Van Dijk said: "If we play like today, then we have no chance to consider ourselves in the title race.
"We have to just focus on the next game and that will be a tough one anyway, so we will see.
"We're very disappointed, in so many ways. I think everyone has to look at their own performances. Did they really give everything, and do they really want to win the league?
"We're still fighting and there are still games after tonight, but if we play like we did overall in the game today – not winning challenges and giving the referee a chance to give free-kicks like he did many times, then you have no chance to win the title."
Howe: Newcastle performance in Palace defeat 'way off' Spurs win
Eddie Howe admitted Newcastle United's performance in the 2-0 loss at Crystal Palace on Wednesday was "way off" the one that saw them thump Tottenham in their previous game.
Howe's men hammered Spurs 4-0 in their last match, but they never got close to matching the attacking verve from that outing and a Jean-Philippe Mateta double condemned the Magpies to defeat at Selhurst Park.
Newcastle didn't even manage a shot on target until the 87th minute, accumulating just 0.42 xG (expected goals) as the likes of Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon struggled to make an impact.
Only against Manchester City in August (one) have Newcastle recorded fewer shots on target in a Premier League game this season than their two against Palace, and Howe was critical of his team's display in the loss, one that all but ends their hopes of finishing in the top four.
"[It is a] bad day for us," Howe told Newcastle's club media.
"I thought we were disappointing today, especially in the first 60 minutes. We were way off our levels against Tottenham and our best levels.
"I thought technically we didn't deliver a good performance, and out of possession I don't think it was a particularly good performance either."
Newcastle were unlocked twice for Mateta to score by a Palace side who themselves only generated 0.88 xG.
Howe was left frustrated by the manner in which his side conceded, adding: "I think we'll be disappointed with our performance technically today, and that's probably epitomised by the two goals where we're disappointed with how we've given them the ball in those situations and then how we defended.
"I think the goals sum up aspects of our performance where there was some good, lots of moments that could have led to opportunities, but we were slow to shoot around the box," he said.
The defeat, combined with Manchester United's 4-2 win over Sheffield United, means Newcastle drop to seventh, while eighth-placed West Ham are two points behind with a game in hand.
Newcastle have now lost eight of their last 11 Premier League away games, while they have lost on four occasions in London in the league this term, only doing so more times in a Premier League season in 2000-01 and 2005-06 (both five).
It's been a disappointing season for Howe and his side, especially compared to the heroics of last term when Newcastle finished in the top four, and the Magpies boss knows there's work to be done to get back to those levels.
"It's a day that we have to take our punishment, deal with it, and then try and improve," Howe continued. "It's frustrating because we know we're capable of much better."
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