Jesse Lingard has opened up on how he pondered taking a break from football due to his struggles with mental health.
The attacking midfielder endured a difficult 2020 having fallen down the pecking order at Manchester United.
Off the pitch, Lingard's cared for his brother and sister while his mother – who has suffered with depression – received treatment in London.
Lingard spoke to entertainment show "Presenting" back in January, with the video released on Thursday, and he was asked if his personal struggles and those of his mother left him contemplating quitting football.
"Not quit football, just have a time out really," he said.
"I was going into games happy sitting on the bench and that's not me. I was telling my brother the other day: 'Remember when I was happy sitting on the bench and all this?'
"I didn't want to play because my mind wasn't there, I wasn't focused at all. I was thinking about other things and obviously bottling it all up; trying to play football, you can't do it.
"Through the years we had the help for her, but even just for me it's hard to bottle things up. It feels like you're not the same person. I felt like I wasn't Jesse Lingard.
"Even in football matches, I felt like the game was just passing me by, like I just didn't want to be there – it was crazy. So, I opened up to [Manchester] United and told them what I was going through, what my mum was going through and they're always there to help."
Lingard departed Old Trafford for West Ham on loan in January and he has flourished for David Moyes' Champions League hopefuls.
The 28-year-old has scored nine goals in 10 league games since joining West Ham, equalling his best return for a top-flight season set back in 2017-18.
Lingard also has three assists to his name, making him the quickest Hammers player in history to reach double figures for direct goal involvements, form that has seen him earn an England recall with the rescheduled Euro 2020 on the horizon.
He spoke about how the first national lockdown in the United Kingdom in March 2020 as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic helped to change his outlook.
"I could have easily quit in lockdown, been like: 'Nah I don't want to do it,'" he added.
"I could have easily given up but the fight in me always brings me back to life and in lockdown I was just smashing gym, doing runs. I wanted to get back to training fitter and faster than anyone else and I did that.
"I feel like lockdown has kind of transitioned me in a way. I watched my old games back and watched the World Cup games back and I thought: 'Yeah, that's the real Jesse Lingard.'
"The time that I had going a couple seasons back or last season, it just wasn't me at all and you can see that. My brother who lives with me, he could see that and he's got a video of me literally laying on the couch and I'm just staring for three minutes into thin air and he's just thinking: 'What is he going through? He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.' And even he didn't know what I was going through at the time.
"I feel like with my mum and me I've learnt that when you open up you feel like a butterfly – you're in a cocoon and then you can spread your wings, you can fly. It's an amazing feeling and now I've got all that behind me and I can concentrate on football and my family."
Football rumours: Real Madrid, Chelsea and Saudi clubs eye Victor Osimhen swoop
The Daily Mail reports that Real Madrid, Chelsea and Saudi Arabian clubs are spearheading a pursuit for Victor Osimhen, with the possibility of the 24-year-old striker pushing to leave Serie A side Napoli in January.
Staying in Italy, the BBC reports that Roma could look to make a move for Tottenham’s Eric Dier in January. The 29-year-old England international has yet to feature for Spurs this season and is out of contract next summer.
Manchester United will open contract talks with Hannibal Mejbri to keep him at Old Trafford, according to the BBC, although Spanish side Sevillia are rumoured to have their sights set on the 20-year-old Tunisia midfielder.
Social media round-upAccording to the Transfer News Live Twitter account, Barcelona has verbally agreed to a 35 million euro (£30m) fee with Manchester City to see Joao Cancelo‘s loan turned into a permanent move.
Players to watchJadon Sancho: The i reports that the soured relationship between the England winger and Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag may be beyond repair.
Chelsea: Italian football site Calciomercato reckons the Blues are on the hunt for a new left-back, and the Stamford Bridge club apparently have their eyes set on Inter Milan’s Federico Dimarco and AC Milan’s Theo Hernandez as their first stops in the January transfer window.
On this day in 2004: Wayne Rooney scores stunning hat-trick on Man Utd debut
Wayne Rooney marked his Manchester United debut in sensational fashion with a Champions League hat-trick against Fenerbahce, on this day in 2004.
Sir Alex Ferguson had been waiting for the teenager’s foot injury to heal before throwing him into action after paying Everton £27million for his services.
It took Rooney 17 minutes to open his account, firing in an unstoppable shot from just outside the box, and he grabbed his second 11 minutes later with another well-struck effort.
The 18-year-old saved the best for last, sending a free-kick flying into the net nine minutes after the break to complete his treble.
Ferguson tried to play down Rooney’s achievement afterwards, saying: “It’s a great start for him. That’s why we signed him as he’s got great potential.
“But I would rather talk about the game to be honest. He is only 18 and a young boy, don’t forget.
“He obviously tired in the last 20 minutes but, given that it was his first game since the European Championship, you could expect that. I think he can only get stronger.
“The important thing for me as a coach is to allow the boy to develop naturally without too much public attention. I want him to be as ordinary as he can.”
Hype was inevitable, of course, and Rooney remained the centre of attention throughout his 13 years at Old Trafford.
He became United’s record goalscorer with 253 goals before leaving the club in 2017.
Gareth Bale part of Welsh delegation to help UK and Ireland Euro 2028 bid
Gareth Bale will boost the bid from the UK and Ireland to host Euro 2028 by joining the Welsh delegation in Geneva next month.
Bale, the Wales men’s team’s most capped player and record goalscorer, retired from football in January after an illustrious career that saw him win five Champions League titles and three FIFA Club World Cups at Real Madrid.
The 34-year-old has now offered a helping hand for Wales to become a Euro 2028 co-host alongside England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Republic of Ireland.
Turkey are also in the running to stage the tournament, with the final decision to be made in Geneva on October 10 when Bale will be present.
Football Association of Wales chief executive Noel Mooney said: “We are hoping for a successful bid and Gareth is very much part of the FAW and what we do. He has been identified as one of the faces of the bid presentation.
“Gareth is globally famous. You can get into a taxi in Sydney or Peru and if you mention you are from Wales they will say ‘Gareth Bale’. It is an instant reaction.
“When I go home to the west of Ireland the first thing people say to me is ‘how is Gareth Bale?’
“Gareth is so good for us. We went to him and asked him if he would get involved in the Euro ’28 bid and he just said: ‘What can I do for Wales?’
“It was instant – ‘how can I help you get the bid over the line?'”
Ten stadia across the five nations would host matches if the Euro 2028 bid is successful – Wembley, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, the Etihad Stadium, Everton’s new Bramley-Moore Dock Stadium, Villa Park and St James’ Park being the venues in England.
A redeveloped Casement Park in Belfast, the Dublin Arena in the Republic, Hampden Park in Scotland and the Principality Stadium in Wales – the 74,500-capacity home of Welsh rugby – would also stage matches.
The Principality Stadium would be referred to as the Cardiff National Stadium during the tournament due to UEFA rules over sponsorship.
Wales hope to stage as many as six matches if the bid is successful, with Mooney having said last October that Cardiff could be in line to stage the opening game of the tournament.
Mooney said: “Six games for Wales has been mentioned before, but it is ultimately up to UEFA to decide on the division of games, qualification from the five host nations and things like that.
“We’re lucky in that we have a fantastic stadium to offer in a magnificent city. Cardiff hosted a very successful Champions League final in 2017 and UEFA were very happy with it.
“But we feel we can get more out of hosting a series of games than from a stand alone match.
“There were tens of thousands of Spanish and Italian fans in Cardiff for Real Madrid against Juventus, and they all had a great time. But they were gone the next day.
“What the 2016 Euros did for France as a brand, and 2024 will do for Germany, was fantastic.
“The Covid-hit Euros weren’t the same and the World Cup in Qatar was a different experience.”
Mooney is confident that work on upgrading the Principality Stadium to meet UEFA standards will be completed should the bid from the UK and Ireland prove successful.
He said: “Cardiff Council and the Welsh Government are backing the bid and are happy with the projected return on investment.
“Millions of pounds will need to be spent on the Principality Stadium to get it up to scratch. It needs new floodlights and a scoreboard.
“There are also issues over hospitality numbers and the TV compound. But these are all things that will be resolved.”
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